I am always tired. Everyday, no matter how much sleep I get. I slept 7 hours last night and have been dragging though today. Eventually I had to collapse and nap, that nap ended up taking away 4 hours of my life. I could have stayed in bed all day and slept through it all if I hadn't had an appointment with my mother.
My cat is snoring on my printer, a soft velvet sound. It's driving me crazy. I can hardly keep my eyelids open. I just want to feel the warmth of the blankets pushing down on me and the feel of a pillow under my head. Sometimes when I wake up, just barely, when you can still feel sleep in your body like a quiet buzzing just under the skin, and gravity seems to be heavier, but not in any burdensome way, and the sunlight is still a pale white of morning, the feel of the blankets, the soft texture, the radiating warmth sends such joy to course through me. My breath quivers in delight, and in that moment I swear if there was a heaven it would feel like that.
James didn't text me today, and when I texted him after he got off work, he was distant. He said he was tired and had a long day at work. But, I just told him the secret yesterday. The secret I cannot even post on here, but I have to tell others I get close too. I am worried. And, this worry is a burden. My mind is begging for sleep just to escape the worry. I hope things are well. I really like him. I am surprised at how much I like him. I hope things are well.
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